


I'm Not Stupid, I'm Advanced!

by Bunnywith



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-15
Updated: 2012-05-15
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnywith/pseuds/Bunnywith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat sucks at video games, so Sollux gives him a hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Stupid, I'm Advanced!

“Jump here. No, _jump!_ ”

“How the fuck do I jump??”

“X! Press-Oh man.” Sollux laughed as Karkat’s character died, the TV screen flashing a bright red judgmental GAME OVER at him, over and over.

Karkat glared at the TV like it had just killed his lusus in front of him, eaten half, then offered to share the other half with him. He uttered a shriek so terrifying and deafening the harpies of Strofades took flight, nearby planets and their orbiting moons stopped turning, Equius briefly looked up from his latest project to wonder what was that noise, then looked back down.

“Nook sniffing grub guzzling game isn’t set up like any other game I’ve ever played!”

“I thought setting X as the jump command was fairly common.”

“Maybe it is on all those ridiculous baby games _you_ play! I usually deal with more advanced games, the type only really experienced gamers such as myself are able to play! The technology used to create _my_ games is sent from the future, and my games are so goddamn real I’d shit myself for days over how real the monsters are if I didn’t know they’re computer generated! And in my games, X is _never_ the jump button! There isn’t even an X button or a handheld game controller! I control that shit with my highly advanced BRAIN. _This_ game was obviously manufactured by and for all the drooling snot nosed fucksacks out there who _want_ to be able to think of themselves as gamers near my level but have so many holes in their think pans they can’t even comprehend the start button on the advanced games I play, let alone actually _play them!_ ”

Karkat saw Sollux heading toward his game cabinet and rushed to intercept him.

“Don’t look at my games, shitstain! I don’t want you to sneeze jealousy all over them! Jealousy stains, it’s disgusting and extremely hard to clean!”

“I just want to see these highly advanced games you’ve been playing. I’ll cover my mouth if I feel a sneeze coming on.”

“No! Get away from my games, assbag!” Karkat swatted at him, standing protectively in front of the cabinet.

“Then maybe you’ll play one of your amazing future games for me? I’m obviously too stupid to play it myself, but _maybe_ if I watch a master gamer like you at work and you explain it to me for three or twelve hours afterward, I might even begin to get an inkling of understanding about it!”

“Not even then!” Karkat shoved Sollux’s hands away with every attempt he made to open the game cabinet.

Finally Sollux simply lost interest in pestering Karkat to open his cabinet and stood back, arms crossed over his chest.

“Fine, I’m just gonna guess what you’ve got in there instead. I think you have games like Spongetroll Squarehorns and the Defense Against the Intergalactic Space Federation, and you’ve had them for years, and you’ve never finished them because you can’t beat the mid-game bosses.” Sollux watched Karkat for any facial cues, and noticed an increased pressure on the jaw, a slight narrowing of the eyes, the brows quirking together. Right on the head.

“What gave you a ridiculous idea like that?? Those games are for grubs! I’m sure you’re well acquainted with Spongetroll Squarehorns games though, I bet those are your favorite!”

“Oh yeah, play them everyday. Come here.” Sollux grabbed his wrist, pulling gently. When Karkat resisted, still fearful that Sollux was trying to get into his game cabinet, he pulled harder. “I’m not trying to look at your stupid games! Come here!”

He kneeled in front of the TV and pulled Karkat down to kneel in front of him.

“I’ll help you, okay?”

“I don’t need your help, barfbreath!”

“Did you ever consider that maybe you are so far advanced in the field of gaming that you’re _too good_ to play games like this?”

“…M-Maybe…”

“And even though I’m nowhere near as advanced as you are, I’m at least good enough at this pathetic excuse for a video game that I can show you how to beat it.”

“ _Fine._ But only because-”

“Only because you’re so smart you’re having trouble grasping something so simple. I know.” Sollux nodded. Karkat grabbed the controller, and Sollux covered Karkat’s hands with his own. Karkat grit his teeth but didn’t push it. He sat down cross legged in front of Sollux, but with every movement, he felt Sollux’s boney chest bumping into the back of his head.

“Dammit! Will you sit down like normal people do??”

“Then I can’t really guide you. Are you okay with me just talking you through?”

“Just… Sit down and I’ll… Sit on your lap, or something!” Karkat had his jaw set again, his teeth grit together hard, frowning and pouting as he refused to look at Sollux or acknowledge the fact his grey cheeks were starting to flush a light candy red.

Sollux grinned, and adjusted his position, sitting behind Karkat with his legs crossed. Karkat looked back just enough to make sure Sollux was in position, then moved backward, seating himself in the honey blood’s lap with a grunt, like it was a chore to sit like this, and he was only, ONLY doing it out of his desire to beat this game!

“You sure? We could always sit side by side or something…” Sollux suggested, his breath tickling Karkat’s ear, his hands slithering back over Karkat’s. Karkat continued to refuse to look back at him, his cheeks blushing a brighter shade of red.

“This is fine! This is just fucking perfect, there is absolutely no need to change our positions-oh look, I started the game, now it would just be a big fucking problem if we moved!”

“It’s just the intro, I could still move.”

“YOU STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, CAPTOR.”

He felt Karkat stiffen his muscles in an attempt to make it harder for Sollux to get away, should he actually try to. But he wasn’t about to. Sollux chuckled, hooking his chin over Karkat’s shoulder, watching the screen as he guided the other troll’s fingers to jump and fire at their on-screen enemies.


End file.
